Anyone wishing to leave notes in memory of Paul may contact the webmaster of http://www.refocus.org . Carol will amass the comments for a future memorial page.

I had the pleasure of being with him in an all day recovery conference. His wit and wisdom was inspiring.

The other thing I noticed about this video is that in emphasizing Christians who leave church because they are disappointed with God, the speaker elides the reality that many evangelical churches have become tacky and inhospitable due to the emphasis of their leaders on building personal religious empires for themselves. This is a big turn-off for a lot of people.

You go on to express your current beliefs, which are not Christian but derive from eastern religions. It is completely understandable that you would have withdrawn from what you experienced in the Assembly. But the Christianity of the Assembly was a serious distortion of the truth. God is not the perfectionist tyrant he was made out to be. His chief characteristics are goodness, love, justice, truth and mercy – very unlike most of his “servants” in the Assembly.

Brett, you need to consider that your philosophy does not take into account the guilt that constantly arises from failing to live by your own principles – without a Redeemer there is no hope. May Jesus draw you back to himself.

Fenelon had one letter that really openned my eyes. He talks about how before we are “saved” our egos seek self glorification via power, money, prestige, etc. (in modern terms, in my case, sex, drugs and rock and roll). Then he says after we are “saved” our egos can trick us to pursue the same goal of self glorification via preaching, praying, Bible study, etc. Thus, much of what was taught was good but it was ruined by how it was translated into actions which were stark contradictions to logic based on what was preached. At one point, I realized that people were not committed to truth in the Church, especially George and his henchmen. Their egos were so in charge and had corrupted things holy into the work tools of the “Devil”, preaching, teaching, praying, etc.

This sounds very black and white, which is how we learned to think in the church, the truth is none are all black or all white including George and co. The true enemy is the small self in each of us which keeps us stuck in a belief that we are separate from God. In reality all things and people are one with God, even if they are rebelling against God. God is everywhere at all times, none can be separate from God, but they can resist doing God’s will because God allows us free will.

The ego is the key. If we get rid of self will, we get rid of ego. If we get rid of ego, we get rid of selfwill. The ego ain’t an amigo. Ego stands for Edging God Out! However, the ego is a mighty opponent. The ego plays tricks on us, we can feed the ego by teaching others how to live free from ego. This is George and co. It is also me and co. to a less degree perhaps, but the fact is the ego is the same in essence in all as God is the same in essence in all. The ego is the mud on the mirror of the soul. The key is living it, not my will but thy will be done, not preaching it and manipulating people to do your will in the name of God’s will.

Ok, one last thought, this issue is not just a George and Co. problem but universal. Since leaving the church I have studied all the major world religions and see the same pattern of abuse in every religion, also I have seen true spirituality in all religions when anyone from the heart desires to do God’s will, God responds to that person even if they do not believe in Jesus. Not my will be done but thy will be done is the key to salvation, belief in Jesus or whatever does not benifit unless it results in this transformation of the will from self driven to God driven.

As John the Baptist said, He must increase and I must decrease, not my will but God’s will be done. God reveal your will to me and grant me the grace to do it, not talk or pray or teach, but to do as You instruct me to do day by day, moment by moment free from the bondage to the small self, the false self, my ego. Also, Jesus is God, but God has such strong self esteam that he does not care if you understand him correctly. In fact no one does understand him correctly because he is beyond all words and comprehension of the mind. Although we can never understand God truely intellectually, we can know him via love for him and from him, the language of the heart.

BrettMaxfield.com

I do remember one tent meeting that just happened to be scheduled the same time as the Harvest Crusade at Anaheim stadium. The contrast was, well, telling. Nevertheless you are right. Did effectiveness matter, or was it simply “so George could say…”?